Our emotions are sometimes simple and at other times highly complex. How many times have you been flummoxed by your emotions? Plenty of times probably. I know that I have been flying high after a great success at work (e.g. a struggling student who finally passes an exam and comes to say thank you for your help or a dyslexic student who produces a strong written piece of work after hours of struggling to get it onto paper) and in a moment that can flip to a feeling of disappointment or disenchantment as you head into another meeting with a negative manager.
Emotional health is an area that many of us hide from by putting on a brave face. Hmmm…nothing like having false pretences.
At some point the masks crack and eventually fall. These cracks normally occur when our values clash with what is being asked of us. I know that’s when my mask started to crumble. Being asked to act several different ways to several audiences becomes exhausting and debilitating. We all play a part in different settings: parent/child; siblings; friendship; professional face/s; lover; significant other half; house mate; colleagues; social or personal space; owner of a business; employee; self-employed; etc.
So many roles and so little time.
Think about all the different roles or expectations that you have each day. Make a list of them to clarify how many different roles/expectations you have and what might be asked of you. You might find the list rather long.
My husband has had the discomfort of watching me go up and down and through the wringer with my emotions and emotional investments: to my job, my students’ wellbeing, colleagues, friends, family and him. At one point he noted I was all at sea, not knowing what to do with my energy or emotions and not knowing how to switch off. He asked me to explain what was going on… but I couldn’t. I didn’t even know where to start.
Oddly enough, that week whilst working on my mindfulness course, one of the journal tasks asked us to record our emotions throughout a week. My heart sank a little as we’d have to delve into and record what we were feeling. The week of this journal recording just happened to coincide with the week of our College inspection. I think the universe was jumping up and down with JOY but I just had a sinking feeling: another task to add to an excessive workload.
The journaling exercise was asking us to write about an event, each day, writing in detail using all our senses to describe the moment. The week’s prompt included an important reminder that, as triggers to emotional memory, smell and taste are as important as sight and hearing. The writing exercise was asking us to express your feelings about this event and how your sensory inputs and interactions with others made you feel. The final prompt was: take 15 minutes without lifting your pen off the page, just write. “Right,” I thought, “That’s a small, easy task!”
There is more to come in my next blog on how I did with this exercise. In the meantime, give the below a go.
Time to Have a Go!
Throughout the next few weeks take the time to write in your journal each day. Remember your journal is private and for your eyes only. You should take a minimum of 15 minutes without lifting your pen off the page.
Write about an event, each day, identifying all the emotions linked to the event. When writing use all your senses. Express your feelings about this event and how your sensory inputs and interactions with others made you feel.
For example: walking to school with the kids (note interactions between yourself, your child/ren, your partner, other parents, the walk itself – perhaps noticing of colours, smells, parks, trees, dropping them off at the gate, etc).